The first installment of a potentially never-ending series:
SCINTILLATING COMMENTATING How not to act while calling a game. Usually featuring ESPN.
Okay people, I didn't even plan this. But ESPN made it seem so tempting, I couldn't resist. The following is a series of inane statements made during the OSU-MSU broadcast which featured such commentating heavyweights as the always surly Brent Musberger, the always greased-up Steve Lavin, and the always unnecessary Erin Andrews. Again, I didn't plan this. I sat down in front of the MSU game to write something funny, but ESPN attempted-- and succeeded-- to be funnier. The following comments were made as I sat and typed: (my commentary is included for your pleasure of course.)
"It is very loud in the IZ-ZONE right now." -Erin Andrews
"Who would you make, the favorite, right now, to win the Big Ten? Who would you say- (pauses, searching for and finding a more eloquent word choice)- 'That's the team, I think is gonna win the regular season.'" - Brent Musberger
Steve Lavin is not a man to be out-done on national television. While displaying a graphic highlighting the most futile scoring efforts of the past week, (St. Louis took the cake with an impressive 20-point scoring explosion against GW) he made the following comment:
"Do you blame it on El Niño? On global warming? On the fear of a recession in our economy?..."
At this point, Musberger sees an opportunity to show off his expansive knowledge of current events, and shouts:
"AL GORE!!!"
An Inconvenient Truth? Brent's heard of that.
Faced with the choice of either punching Musberger in the face or simply ignoring him, Lavin begrudgingly chooses the latter, and continued(clearly not sure what he wanted to say):
"Election year? What could possibly....what conclusion could, we're all lookin' at those numbers."
In other MSU-OSU commentating action, Erin Andrews' prospective comedy career is off to a rough start. During her sideline interview with MSU coach Tom Izzo going into the halftime break, Andrews to chose a bad joke to lead with.
"Well, coach you've almost scored as many points as you did against Iowa the other night, how has your team responded?"
Talk about a low blow. I've heard of insult comedians, but EA is taking it to a new level.
Needless to say, Tom Izzo didn't think it was very good material. Maybe not in "good taste." He promptly responded with:
"That's not funny."
Izzo smiled, but it was merely a façade. Clearly enraged, he stomped off towards the locker room, probably to physically beat his players.
A host of environmental, political, and economic national crises haunt the mind of Steve Lavin.
-2nd Half-
"Making some excellent decisions throughout this game. Caleb Lucas, only a freshman. Learning curve in effect." -Lav
After a controversial foul call against Michigan State....
"Now, in fairness, Hightower(the referee) had a much better angle than I did. From here, it looked like Lighty just lost his balance." -Musberger
"The Iz-Zone has become the BOO-ZONE!!" - Brent the Berg
